:: current thought ::

:: our truest life is when we are in dreams awake. ::

henry david thoreau

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Love Don't Live Here.

Sometimes you just need a good ole country jam like this...

:: well, this heart 'a mine
has been hardened like a stone
it might take some time
to get back what is gone
but i'm movin' on
and you don't haunt my dreams
like you did before
oh, and i will curse your name
hey!

well, i heard the news
that you were back in town
just passin' through
to claim your lost and found
but i'm over you
and there ain't nothin' there
that you could say or do
and take what you did back

you've got the nerve to waltz right in
and claim what's mine is yours again

'cause i've been doin' fine without you
forgettin' all the love we once knew
girl, i ain't the one that slammed that door
now you see a change of thinkin'
but i ain't got a heart for breakin'
so go and pick your bags up off my floor
'cause love don't live here anymore
oh, no

well, baby, you can try
to tell me how it is
and try to justify
everything you did
but, honey, i'm no fool
oh, and i been down this road
too many times with you
now i think it's best you go

well, i got one thing left to say
is you can lay in the bed you made

'cause i've been doin' fine without you
forgettin' all the love we once knew
girl, i ain't the one that slammed that door
now you see change of thinkin'
but i ain't got a heart for breakin'
so go and pick your bags up off my floor
oh, 'cause love don't live here anymore ::

Lady Antebellum

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Same Kind of Different As Me.


Based on a recommendation from a friend, I just started reading Same Kind of Different As Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. According to the book's Web site, here's the synopsis of the novel:

A dangerous homeless drifter who grew up picking cotton in virtual slavery...

An upscale art dealer accustomed to the world of Armani and Chanel...

A gutsy woman with a stubborn dream...

A story so incredible no novelist would dare dream it.

The story begins outside a burning plantation hut in Louisiana and within an East Texas honky-tonk...and, without a doubt, in the heart of God. It unfolds in a Hollywood hacienda, in an upscale New York Gallery, in a downtown dumpster, in a Texas ranch. Gritty with pain and betrayal and brutality, this story also shines with an unexpected, life-changing love.

"Just tell 'em I'm a nobody that's trying to tell ever'body 'bout a Somebody that can save anybody."
Denver Moore

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Comfortable.



Some of the most poignant lyrics John Mayer has ever written.

:: i just remembered that time at the market
snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
and rode down aisle five
you looked behind you to smile back at me
crashed into a rack full of magazines
they asked us if we could leave

can't remember what went wrong last september
though i'm sure you'd remind me, if you had to

our love was comfortable
and so broken in

i sleep with this new girl i'm still getting used to
my friends all approve, say "she's gonna be good for you"
they throw me high fives
she says the Bible is all that she reads
and prefers that i not use profanity
your mouth was so dirty

life of the party and she swears that she's artsy
but you could distinguish miles from coltrane

our love was comfortable
and so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless
or so they say

she thinks i can't see the smile that she's faking
and poses for pictures that aren't being taken
i loved you gray sweatpants, no make-up, so perfect

our love was comfortable
and so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless
i'm not impressed
i want you back. ::

Monday, December 8, 2008

Donald Miller.


:: It is always the simple things that change our lives. And these things never happen when you're looking for them to happen. Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. You feel like running, but life is on a stroll. This is how God does things. ::

Donald Miller

Stuff White People Like.

This hilarious blog never ceases to entertain me. It lists a variety of things that, stereotypically, white people like. I find myself able to relate with 70% of the items on the list, and each entry is so well-written. All of the posts are riddled with intelligent, ironic humor. Overall, the site is incredibly entertaining and worthy of being read.

For now, here's the current list of objects that white people adore, including comments regarding things I, too, enjoy...but check back as the blog is updated frequently.

1) Coffee.
  • True. Starbucks. Coffee Bean. All of it.
2) Religions their parents don't belong to.
3) Film festivals.
4) Assists.
5) Farmer's markets.
  • The Wednesday market in Santa Monica can't be beat.
6) Organic food.
7) Diversity.
  • I worked for the Intercultural Affairs Office. Enough said.
8) Barack Obama.
9) Making you feel bad about not going outside.
  • Katie Van Buskirk's definition of my very essence.
10) Wes Anderson movies.
11) Asian girls.
  • Two words: Erin Chinen.
12) Non-profit organizations.
  • Beginning on January 5th, I will be employed by one.
13) Tea.
  • There's nothing better than a chai latte.
14) Having black friends.
  • Am I allowed to mention Darnell here?
15) Yoga.
  • DVDs and classes--I've partaken in both.
16) Gifted children.
  • I was enrolled in Fast Paced Language Arts as a child.
17) Hating their parents.
18) Awareness.
19) Traveling.
  • Duh.
20) Being an expert on your culture.
21) Writer's workshops.
22) Having two last names.
23) Microbreweries.
24) Wine.
  • Again, duh.
25) David Sedaris.
  • I own all of his books.
26) Manhattan (now Brooklyn, too!)
27) Marathons.
  • I ran one in Rome in 2006. I ran a half in Long Beach in October.
28) Not having a TV.
29) 80s night.
  • How many college parties revolved around this theme?
30) Wrigley Field.
  • As a Chicago native, clearly I love this place.
31) Snowboarding.
32) Vegan/vegetarianism.
  • I'm not quite a vegetarian, but I'm really close. No red meat for this kid.
33) Marijuana.
34) Architecture.
35) The Daily Show/The Colbert Report.
  • So, so funny.
36) Breakfast places.
  • I would rather go out for breakfast than for any other meal. Hands down.
37) Renovations.
38) Arrested Development.
  • Aside from Friends and The Office, one of the best television shows of all time. Gob on the segway gets me every time.
39) Netflix.
40) Apple products.
  • I have a MacBook, a Nano, a Shuffle and an iPhone. Is all of that really necessary?
41) Indie music.
  • Death Cab for Cutie, the Postal Service and Decemberadio are amongst my favorites.
42) Sushi.
  • Nobu is truly heaven on earth.
43) Plays.
  • I was enrolled in a theater class while abroad in London and all we did was attend plays and musicals.
44) Public radio.
45) Asian fusion food.
46) The Sunday New York Times.
47) Arts degrees.
48) Whole Foods and grocery co-ops.
  • At CMPR, we frequent Whole Foods on a daily basis to make our lunch selections.
49) Vintage.
  • The older, the better.
50) Irony.
51) Living by the water.
  • Malibu. Santa Monica. Naples. Clearly.
52) Sarah Silverman.
53) Dogs.
  • Obviously. I can't wait until I can have my very own black cocker spaniel and black French bulldog. They will be friends for sure.
54) Kitchen gadgets.
55) Apologies.
  • As a confrontational person by nature, I've learned the importance of apologies.
56) Lawyers.
57) Juno.
  • Amazing movie. Deserved more Oscar recognition than it received.
58) Japan.
59) Natural medicine.
60) Toyota Prius.
61) Bicycles.
  • See my previous post regarding my brand new beach cruiser.
62) Knowing what's best for poor people.
63) Expensive sandwiches.
  • I've definitely been willing to spend more than $8.00 on a sandwich, which is really insane, if you think about it. But, apparently, also really worth it.
64) Recycling.
  • Mom has taught me well in terms of recycling.
65) Co-ed sports.
66) Divorce.
67) Standing still at concerts.
68) Michel Gondry.
69) Mos Def.
70) Difficult breakups.
  • Baha! Unfortunately I can claim this one, too.
71) Being the only white person around.
72) Study abroad.
  • Lived, studied and interned in London...twice.
73) Gentrification.
74) Oscar parties.
75) Threatening to move to Canada.
76) Bottles of water.
77) Musical comedy.
  • Does Avenue Q count?
78) Multilingual children.
79) Modern furniture.
  • Love the types that come from everywhere, ranging from IKEA and Target to Anthropologie and Pottery Barn.
80) The idea of soccer.
81) Graduate school.
82) Hating corporations.
83) Bad memories of high school.
84) T-shirts.
  • American Apparel is my mecca.
85) The wire.
86) Shorts.
  • I own way too many pairs.
87) Outdoor performance clothes.
  • Couldn't live without North Face.
88) Having gay friends.
89) St. Patrick's Day.
90) Dinner parties.
  • One of my favorite things to do on a given night is to host/attend a dinner party.
91) San Francisco.
  • Couldn't visit Karli Meg, Becca and the boys there enough.
92) Book deals.
93) Music piracy.
94) Free healthcare.
95) Rugby.
96) New Balance shoes.
97) Scarves.
  • I think I own at least 20,000. And I'd like to own more.
98) The Ivy League.
99) Grammar.
  • I'm so anal about punctuation and correcting misspellings.
100) Bumper stickers.
101) Being offended.
102) Children's games as adults.
103) Sweaters.
104) Girls with bangs.
  • I definitely rocked the side bangs this summer/fall.
105) Unpaid internships.
  • I had three while in college: NBC, Bang Showbiz and St. Jude Children's Research Hospital Entertainment Marketing Office.
106) Facebook.
  • Unfortunately, so true for me.
107) Self-aware hip hop references.
108) Appearing to enjoy classical music.
109) The Onion.
  • A hilarious online publication I love to read.
110) Frisbee sports.
111) Peacoats.
112) Hummus.
  • Delicious. A staple in my diet.
113) Halloween.
114) America.
115) Promising to learn a new language.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Traveling Mercies.


:: The depth of the feeling [grief, loss] continued to surprise and threaten me, but each time it hit again and I bore it, like a nicotine craving, I would discover that it hadn't washed me away. After a while it was like an inside shower, washing off some of the rust and calcification in my pipes. It was like giving a dry garden a good watering. Don't get me wrong: grief sucks; it really does. Unfortunately, though, avoiding it robs us of life, of the now, of a sense of living spirit...A fixation can keep you nicely defined and give you the illusion that your life has not fallen apart. But since your life may indeed have fallen apart, the illusion won't hold up forever, and if you are lucky and brave, you will be willing to bear disillusion. You begin to cry and write and yell and then to keep on crying; and then, finally, grief ends up giving you the two best things: softness and illumination. ::

Anne Lamott

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Twenty Three.

I can't believe that I'm 23 years old! Wow, wow. Time has seriously flown by.

Technology has allowed for my friends and family from afar to make me feel so incredibly loved on my birthday. With everything from text messages, phone calls, voicemails and e-mail chains, the people in my life have really lifted me up on this special day.

I don't know if this is, like...allowed...but this is my blog, after all, so I'm going to share some e-mails from the "yo family" (as it's fondly called) e-mail chain that my beautiful college friends and I started around the time of graduation. Before we left school, we'd e-mail each other regarding each night's happenings/plans; since we've left, we e-mail everything from life updates and funny goings-on at work to silly jokes and holiday traditions.

Today there's a very special family e-mail chain going on regarding my birthday. Karli started it by suggesting my friends e-mail their favorite memory of our friendship out for us all to read and enjoy, and I thought I'd include their responses on this, my 23rd birthday post.

From Karli Meg:

"In honor of this fabulous day of Rach's birth, I propose that we all share our favorite memory of a time spent with Miss Johnson. I will begin...

I actually have way too many amazing memories with Rach to pick a fave, but I'll pick one that recently occurred. In October Rach came to visit me in Pleasanton. We basically just spent the entire weekend eating, laughing at ridiculous YouTube videos, making our television debut, and exploring Sausalito. This is just one example of what an amazing friend Rach is. She came all the way up to see me and then we had the best time doing basically nothing. That is, to me, the sign of true and deep friendship. Best friendship, I'd say!

Also: Malibu Beach Inn fire pit. Pomegranate margs at Terra. Running into the ocean with our clothes on. Done."

From Kimberly Anne:

"My favorite memory of Rachel Elizabeth Johnson was in the summer of 2005, when we took a romantic day trip to Laguna Beach - shopped, ate, talked, walked on the beach, and got Goldenspoon, of course."

From Erin Marie:

"Well, amongst a bevy of memories that all are near and dear to my heart, probably one of the sweetest was freshman year of college when we'd cuddle in rach's bed and eat ice cream and watch friends and not go to Com 200.

More recently, one of the highlights is the one night we had too much wine and decided that going to the gym and making a workout video was a good idea....and that going level 9 speed on the treadmill while being intoxicated was smart as well."

From Leslie Horvath:

"Happy day of your birth!!! Seriously, you tell BMJ thank you for giving us you! As for my favorite memory...Well, that is simple! One evening when a dear friend Carter Blanton was in town Rachel, Carter, and myself were hanging out on a street corner in the city of Santa Monica when a rather random and diverse group of men approached us... 1 decided he would like to bubble wrap me, take me to China, and feed me cereal, all while watching Japanese anime. Another wondered why we didn't have a toaster and inquired about Ms. Johnson's affiliation with Ninjas. Then there was the white middle aged guy. All in all, it was a night to remember... Which I do often:)

Rach, another fond memory would be having that incredible brunch with you and Emily Merrell in London! Soooo good!"

From Geoffrey Baker:

"First off, Feliz CumpleaƱos Rach! I hope you have a flabbergastingly great day! (Yes. I just invented a new use of the word flabbergast for you.)

Secondly, even though I was a bit of a la
te comer to the familia I have so many great memories with you that I am finding it hard to pick just one… Oh wait. That's a lie. I know exactly which memory is my favorite. It was one night, at one of the many parties held at the Point Dume Club. The two of us came to the realization that the drinking game that was currently being played was fun, but not quite enough to keep us entertained and adequately satiated. Sooo we decided to play a couple little games on the side, the first of which was whoever said drink first won and the other person had to drink; the second, and in my opinion more ingenious, was the first person to "shoot" the other and make the sound of a gun, won and the other person had to drink, usually while pretending to die in the most cheesy and overdramatic way possible. Drink! Bang!

C. Cheesy (but true) quote time: "Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young." Sir Arthur Wing Pinero. According to Sir Pinero, you have nothing to fear lass, because you love life with a depth that would challenge Mother Teresa, God bless 'er (and you of course.)

Lastly, my only encounter with your parents was at the graduation party and they were incredible; between your dad and the cigars and the way your mom kept delivering (aka. forcing) food...in
credible. Therefore, I know you are in good hands tonight and I know that the celebration will be nothing short of what you deserve. May your glass never be empty.

Love you Rach. Oh and one more thing...mascara. That is my second favorite memory. You know what I'm talkin about Rach. Miss ya."

From Michael Carter Blanton:

(Not as much as of a story as it is a rap...but amazing nonetheless.)

"I made a rap
fo yo birfday

I's screamin all da way
From Tenness-ay

Iz yo birfday
So lez git happY
Tonite I hopes
that yuu git sloppY

Yuu can try n' play Convict

Cuz thaz yo game
but widout us all der
Iz not da same


Yuu mite go bladin
Down by da pier
but widout us all der
Yuu gon shed a tear

Yuu be pimpin Leona
Down hiway one
But in a empty car
It juz aint no fun


You can had alatta fun
Down in Newport Beech
2 bad all uz
R outta reech

Dey say LA's

Da town Kiedis made
Da Lakers, Da Dodgers,
Da Promenade

Da City uh Angels

Getz so dern crowded
Tonite'll be crazy
No doubt aboudet

So from da 615 to da 310
Da Eastside Nash all da wayta SanMo

Happy birfday
And juz keep on bleedin
Pritty soon u go ta Texas
Helpin the needin

Whammy!"

From Nicholas Michael Spence:

"Probably one of the best, most wonderful, most amazingly spectacular Rachel memories I have is when we ditched malibu, jumped in Erin's jeep listening to Jack Johnson (quoting Will Ferrell the entire time), and jumped off of rocks into the clear ponds! That was the beginning of the I Phelta Thi Froroity. Though we didn't actually DO anything, we were definitely the coolest kids on campus. Our legacy lives on..."

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Giving Thanks, Posted Late.

Wait, it's December already. Really? Time has flown. September dragged along so slowly; it was definitely the most difficult month for me. There was so much transitioning occurring--school had started and my friends and I weren't returning, jobs were sparse and I wasn't yet working, some relationships in my life were ending and I was adjusting to my new life in Santa Monica.

So much has changed since then, job-wise, faith-wise, relationship-wise and, basically, life-wise. I feel so blessed to be at the point of life that I'm in now. Though this isn't an original idea, I wanted to take some time in between the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons to jot down some things that I am so thankful for in my life.

apartment 509. bs 1 and 2. having the luxury of saying, "oh, i'm just going to go downstairs and grab some starbucks."
speaking of starbucks, red cup and holiday drink season.
stuffing, potluck potatoes, broccoli casserole and turkey. pumpkin pie and persimmon pudding. morning quizzes accompanied by prize money. wheaton, illinois. mom, dad and brother. "what happens in vegas," coupled by mimosas. john mcbride, my pseudo-grandfather.
scarves, uggs and wintry breezes.
december beaching. montana avenue. having to over-compensate with decorations because southern california doesn't exactly have the same seasons that we do in the midwest...which i'm actually very thankful for.
twinkling white lights, ice skating and gingerbread houses.
home-cooked meals. community group. laughter. mulled wine. gossip girl reruns.
"it's better in a sweater" parties. holiday soirees in west hollywood.
the anticipation of a weekend spent with the most wonderful women in the world (exculding my momma, who is unable to attend).
christmas gifts and tree loans from my fantastic boss at cmpr. company lunches and coffee breaks. maggie, cmpr's resident puppy.
the brink of a budding career with the touch a life foundation.
candy canes and mint cookie joys.
the return of the greatest two-disc christmas compilation known to mankind. family secret santas and excessively long e-mail chains.
jesus: the reason for the season.
ski weekends in vail. johnson + joyce. snowflakes, hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps, north face jackets and memories in the making.
december prayer lists. world vision's gift catalogue. evergreen trees and christmas ornaments.
good health, great friends, fabulous family.
the best life.

Monday, November 17, 2008

The Explorer.


:: If you're going to create the life of your dreams, you have to once again choose to explore. You need to make it a life mandate to learn everything and anything you need to know to turn your dreams into reality. You have to start making yourself flexible and pliable again, because if you stop learning, you will stop growing and will never create a life beyond the one you have right now...

When you are called out by God, you have to take on a learning mode that recognizes you are called by God to explore unknown territories and go to uncertain environments. To some of you, God is literally saying, You need to leave your country, your relatives, your house and go to a place you've never known if you are going to live the life of your dreams...

I wonder if some of you need to move to Tibet or maybe India or South America. Or maybe you need to find a way to deal with the issue of AIDS in Africa. Is it possible that to create the life of your dreams, you need to get up and leave what you know and relinquish the security of what you have in order to discover what you only see in your imagination? Remember, there is always a hero within you waiting to be awakened--that hero is the explorer. ::

-- Erwin McManus

I've been reading through Erwin's newest book, Wide Awake, as well as diving deeper into the text through Erwin's Sunday services (he's doing an eight week series on the book) and a weekly small group gathering. The content with the book has resonated with me and this time of my life so much. I have been blessed in insane ways and I am so excited to explore the next step in my life journey so that I am fully able to live in dreams awake.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Keep Bleedin'.


"Bleeding Love" (by Leona Lewis) just came on the radio at work and totally tugged on my heartstrings. Oddly, even though the song's lyrics are essentially about heartache, it's a song that for some reason represents my group of college friends and the few weeks that led up to graduation. I don't know who decided that this made sense (Carter? Brad?) but now whenever I hear that soulful jam, I am instantly brought back to our group's last days in Malibu, back to the memories we made and back to the amazing times we shared.
Isn't music incredible in that way? Songs will crop up out of nowhere and remind me of very specific times in my life. "Everything's Right" (Matt Wertz) takes me back to high school graduation. "Forever" (Chris Brown) will always remind me of Bethany and Ryan's wedding, as well as my fabulous summer of 2008 spent in Malibu. Anything Backstreet Boys, N*Sync or pre-insane Britney makes me reminisce about my middle school days. "Waiting Room" (Shane and Shane) is so indicative of my freshman year at Pepperdine, as is "Breathe" (Michelle Branch). "Stop This Train" (John Mayer) was my anthem during senior year; anything Postal Service reminds me of my semester in London in 2006, as does "Home" (Michael Buble). "Real Girl" (Mutya Buena) forms images of Rick Sky, Bang Showbiz and London Summer '07 in my head, while "Wouldn't it Be Nice" (Beach Boys) brings back memories of cruising down PCH to go Rollerblading in Venice during sophomore year.I could go on forever, really, but the point is that music has an ability that no other medium has to transport us from our current state into a different time in our lives. Music is almost like a time machine; when certain notes and lyrics strike our ears, we are taken back to a former place (good or bad) in our lives, and our memories are inexplicably linked to the tunes playing on our radios or iPods. Music is a universal langugage that has the power to overcome obstacles, unite different types of people and allow us to relive amazing memories.


Music is beautiful; it is essential to our existence and to the preservation of our favorite times in life. So, with that, just keep bleedin'. Keep, keep bleedin' love.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Psalm 105:1-2.


:: Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all of his wonderful acts. ::

Friday, November 7, 2008

Francis de Sales.


:: My dearest daughter, we must not be unjust and require from ourselves what is not in ourselves...Have patience with yourself. ::

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Shea and Rachel's Infinite Foodlist.

This morning was such a treat. Shea, Becca and I had breakfast together at Urth Cafe on Main Street in Santa Monica. Bex was up in Santa Barbara visiting her grandparents and she spent the night at Five Oh Nine last night, which was so much fun. We met Shea for breakfast this morning before Bex had to head back to San Diego. Shea and I decided to peruse Main Street and, as we were walking, we also decided to make a running list of fabulous-looking restaurants that we need to try.

I think when Shea said I should write about this on my blog, he was teasing...but I'm going to post part of our list anyway:

1) Chinois on Main. Wolfgang Puck's restaurant. Maybe Ers can hook it up there.
2) Holy Guacamole. A neighborhood taco stand.
3) The Library. The beer is great but the food must be tried.
4) Wild Flour. A quaint, brightly painted pizza joint. Supposedly the best in L.A.
5) Via Veneto. Happy hour all day on Sundays.
6) The Fire House. Delectable-looking food and the cutest patio, adorned with red and yellow Chinese lanterns.
7) Chaya Venice. Great-looking seafood and sushi.
8) Schatzi on Main. The fact that this is Arnold Schwarzenegger's restaurant piqued my interest.
9) Novel Cafe. Shea and I went in here for some delicious vanilla chai lattes but I'd love to try the food.

To be continued...

The One Where Ross is Fine.

This excerpt, from Season10, is from one of my favorite "Friends" episodes of all time. Ross invites Rachel and Joey over for dinner, along with his girlfriend Charlie Wheeler. Ross used to date Rachel; Joey used to date Charlie. All in all, it is an incredibly awkward experience and Ross is very clearly incapable of handling the fact that Joey and Rachel, two of his best friends, are in a relationship. In an attempt to create a fun Mexican feasts for his guests, Ross prepares fajitas and margaritas....and then he drinks way too many margaritas and doesn't counter it by eating enough fajitas.

[Ross recently found out that Joey and Rachel are dating and is now drunk on margaritas. He decides to make a toast to his dinner guests.]

Ross: Ah, love. L-O-V-E, love. "L" is for life. I mean, what is life without love?

[long pause]

Rachel: [to Joey] Oh my God, are we supposed to answer?

Ross: "O" is for...oh, wow! "V"...is for this very...surprising turn of events...which I am still fine with, by the way!

[long pause...Ross's dinner guests believe he is done with his toast and turn back to their margaritas. They are interrupted by Ross's incessant squealing.]

Ross: "EEEE"...is for how extreeeemeeely...normal...I find it that you two are together!

[some further conversation ensues and the timer goes off in the kitchen. Ross has no idea what could be finished cooking, seeing as he has already provided his guests with all of the Mexican treats their hearts could desire. He goes into the kitchen and returns carrying a tray, having drunkenly forgotten to wear oven mitts.]

Ross: I guess I made Tater tots!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Jantsen's Gift.


Pam Cope's book, Jantsen's Gift: A True Story of Grief, Rescue and Grace, is available for pre-order on Amazon.com. Get it.

Book Synopsis:

Nine years ago, Pam Cope owned a cozy hair salon in the tiny town of Neosho, Missouri, and her life revolved around her son's baseball games, her daughter's dance lessons, and family trips to places like Disney World. She had never been out of the country, nor had she any desire to travel far from home.

Then, on June 16th, 1999, her life changed forever with the death of her 15-year-old son from an undiagnosed heart ailment.

Needing to get as far away as possible from everything that reminded her of her loss, she accepted a friend's invitation to travel to Vietnam, and, from the moment she stepped off the plane, everything she had been feeling since her son's death began to shift. By the time she returned home, she had a new mission: to use her pain to change the world, one small step at a time, one child at a time. Today, she is the mother of two children adopted from Vietnam. More than that, she and her husband have created a foundation called "Touch A Life," dedicated to helping desperate children in countries as far-flung as Vietnam, Cambodia and Ghana.

Pam Cope's story is on one level a moving, personal account of loss and recovery, but on a deeper level, it offers inspiration to anyone who has ever suffered great personal tragedy or those of us who dream about making a difference in the world.

History in the Making.

Yesterday was craziness. A record number of voters made it to polls to speak their mind regarding our country's future. Everywhere you looked you saw citizens sporting "I Voted" stickers. Every channel on TV, ranging from news stations to MTV, was reporting on election coverage. In California, Election Day was made even crazier by the emphasis based on voting for propositions, namely the controversial and highly debated Proposition 8. Every other word out of everyone's mouth was "Obama" or "McCain."

I didn't blog about this during campaign season because I wasn't interested in sparking additional political conflict or debate amongst anyone but a few weeks I decided to vote for John McCain. Obviously, that didn't work out too well for me and I was surprisingly sad about it last night, even though I was never incredibly invested in his platform. Instead of focusing on McCain's loss, I thought about something pastor Erwin McManus said at the Mayan on Sunday night: "If I thought the way to change the world was to be in Washington, I would be there. But I'm not. I'm here at Mosaic, here in L.A." Politics are important but not the way to revolutionize the world.

That being said, yesterday was still an incredibly historic day. It is amazing to be alive in a time when people are finally politically and worldly conscious of the events occurring around them. And regardless of the fact that the candidate I voted for lost, yesterday was still a hugely important day for me and for every American citizen.

I didn't watch Obama's acceptance speech last night but I did read it today and I think it's worth posting. No matter how you voted, a decision has been made and today is a new day. Time to move on and use every opportunity we have to make the world a better place.

Barack Obama's Presidential Acceptance Speech

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer. It’s the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen, by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different, that their voices could be that difference. It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled. Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states.

We are, and always will be, the United States of America. It’s the answer that led those who’ve been told for so long by so many to be cynical and fearful and doubtful about what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

It’s been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this date in this election at this defining moment change has come to America.It’s the answer that led those who’ve been told for so long by so many to be cynical and fearful and doubtful about what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

It’s been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this date in this election at this defining moment change has come to America.

A little bit earlier this evening, I received an extraordinarily gracious call from Senator McCain. Senator McCain fought long and hard in this campaign. And he’s fought even longer and harder for the country that he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine. We are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader. I congratulate him; I congratulate Governor Palin for all that they’ve achieved. And I look forward to working with them to renew this nation’s promise in the months ahead.

I want to thank the rock of our family, the love of my life, the nation’s next first lady, Michelle Obama. Sasha and Malia, I love you both more than you can imagine. And you have earned the new puppy that’s coming with us to the new White House. And while she’s no longer with us, I know my grandmother’s watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight. I know that my debt to them is beyond measure. To my sister Maya, my sister Alma, all my other brothers and sisters, thank you so much for all the support that you’ve given me. I am grateful to them. And to my campaign manager, David Plouffe, the unsung hero of this campaign, who built the best — the best political campaign, I think, in the history of the United States of America. To my chief strategist David Axelrod, who’s been a partner with me every step of the way. To the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics, you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what you’ve sacrificed to get it done.

But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to. It belongs to you. It belongs to you.

I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn’t start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington. It began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston. It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give $5 and $10 and $20 to the cause.

It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation’s apathy, who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep. It drew strength from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on doors of perfect strangers, and from the millions of Americans who volunteered and organized and proved that more than two centuries later a government of the people, by the people, and for the people has not perished from the Earth. This is your victory.

And I know you didn’t do this just to win an election. And I know you didn’t do it for me. You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime — two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century. Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us. There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after the children fall asleep and wonder how they’ll make the mortgage or pay their doctors’ bills or save enough for their child’s college education. There’s new energy to harness, new jobs to be created, new schools to build, and threats to meet, alliances to repair. The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you, we as a people will get there.

There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won’t agree with every decision or policy I make as president. And we know the government can’t solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And, above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation, the only way it’s been done in America for 221 years — block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

What began 21 months ago in the depths of winter cannot end on this autumn night. This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were.

It can’t happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice.

So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other. Let us remember that, if this financial crisis taught us anything, it’s that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers.

In this country, we rise or fall as one nation, as one people. Let’s resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let’s remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House, a party founded on the values of self-reliance and individual liberty and national unity. Those are values that we all share. And while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress.

As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, we are not enemies but friends. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too.

And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces, to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of the world, our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand. To those — to those who would tear the world down: We will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security: We support you. And to all those who have wondered if America’s beacon still burns as bright: Tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope.

That’s the true genius of America: that America can change. Our union can be perfected. What we’ve already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow. This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that’s on my mind tonight’s about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She’s a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing: Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn’t vote for two reasons — because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin. And tonight, I think about all that she’s seen throughout her century in America — the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can’t, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes, we can.

At a time when women’s voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes, we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs, a new sense of common purpose. Yes, we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes, we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that “We Shall Overcome.” Yes, we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes, we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves — if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have? This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can’t, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.

Thank you. God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

The Five People You Meet in Malibu.

This morning, Blake Lown and I were about to enjoy some delicious coffee at Starbucks (where holiday cups are back in full force, which is so exciting) when we had an extremely interesting encounter with another caffeine-addicted patron. Blake and I were patiently waiting in line to order; both of the registers were occupied with customers providing their beverage details to the baristas. The woman behind us steps up and says, "Can I go in front of you girls?" Now, if Blake and I had been obnoxiously scouring over each and every pastry, or if we had been struggling to decide which syrup to put into which latte, AND if this lady was on fire/in the hugest hurry ever, I would have understood her impatience. However, none of these things was occurring so, needless to say, Blake and I were extremely confused. We weren't in a rush so we allowed her to go ahead of us. How one can let a situation like this pass them by and not laugh is beyond me so laugh is exactly what we did. Perturbed by our enjoyment of her insanity, hurried-and-harried lady turned around and said, "I gave you the opportunity to say no." The phrase that instantly ran through my mind was, What is honestly happening here?

We were actually on Main Street in Santa Monica when this occurred but it reminded me so much of my former life in Malibu. Much of the time, that is my mindset when I am in that lovely coastal town: What is going on here? I love Malibu. It is so eccentric and most of the people who live there are unexpectedly fascinating. After having lived in Malibu for four years, I've decided that there are five specific types of people who reside there:


1) The secret celeb.
Secret celebs are, you guessed it, average-appearing people who are surprisingly renowned or wealthy. They maintain a relatively low profile and, in comparison to the Pamela Anderson-types zooming around the 'bu, they are less likely to be attacked by the paparazzi. But they crop up out of nowhere all the time.

My favorite instance regarding this type of Malibu-ite (what is the word for a local Malibu resident? Malibuan? Malibu-ite?) is rooted in a memory from this summer. I was working on some script coverage at Coffee Bean and this insanely hilarious elderly man struck up a conversation with me. He showed me magazine clippings of himself in his prime, told me all about his life and asked me out on a date, despite the fact that he is married. I came to learn that he was Mike Silverman, realtor to the stars. Not exactly a household name but worthy and successful enough to be written up in the New York Times at his ripe old age of 89. And how would I have ever known if he hadn't plopped down next to me with his tea latte and made conversation with me?

2) The overly-Botoxed 60-year-old.These interesting Malibu creatures rarely leave the comfort of their natural habitat, their natural habitat being their mansions tucked back in the hills, overlooking the ocean. On rare occasions, though, they will leave the safety of their homes to traverse down the hill into town to be seen at a charity event, to vote in any and every election and to brunch at Geoffrey's. Oh, and, obviously, to get their weekly Botox treatments. In case you didn't know, Malibu Urgent Care, located on PCH, was about to close until they started offering Botox treatments to clients. Now it is open and very busy, largely in part to these grandmothers who wish to be regarded as 35-year-olds for the rest of their lives. Most likely these Botox fiends are married to Mike Silverman-esque types who can afford to pay for their weekly treatments. They may have been famous back in the day but now they simply do work for charity.

3) The Pepperdine student.
Clearly, this demographic represents my favorite group of Malibu residents. Surprisingly diverse, the Pepperdine community contains a variety of individuals, ranging from conservative, overly-churched Church of Christ kiddos to Valley girls in possession of their daddy's credit cards. Most of my favorite people in this world are a part of this over-arching community, and they mostly represent the middle ground constituent found at Pepperdine. Hailing from Northern California, Southern California, Portland, Nashville, Colorado, Chicago and Texas, my friends all have relatively different backgrounds, allowing them to share their unique experiences with one another upon their arrival to school. The common thread that unites us is our faith in Christ, and it creates a powerful bond between us that is unlikely to be broken, regardless of what part of the country we've been scattered to after graduation.

Though I think 99.9% of the student body at Pepperdine is fabulous, not all Malibu locals agree. This is evidenced by the fact that every establishment (aside from the classy Jack in the Box and Malibu Inn) closes by 10:00 p.m. as if there was no one over the age of 11 living within the city's limits. A day person by nature, this fact has never really upset me, but it is clearly indicative of the fact that Malibu was meant to be a retreat for people, a place where things close early, where sleep is found easily, where noise doesn't keep people up at night, where there is an air of relaxation. I completely appreciate that attitude, except when it's imposed upon me by obnoxious neighbors residing in the Malibu Villas complex, where I lived for my last two years of college. Most of the adults living there are, in my opinion, secretly jealous that they are no longer in college and they wish to take that out on the students that live in their neighborhood. Mostly they call the cops at every chance they get, bang on shared walls if they hear even the slightest squeak after 9:00 p.m. and employ incompetent "guards" to protect their dwellings. Truthfully, this behavior was regarded by me and my friends as humorous, so it never impeded on our fun.

4) The hippie-surfer.
The hippie-surfer is the type most vacationers expect to encounter when coming to Malibu, I think. Back in the 1930s, when the community of Malibu as we know it today was truly born, the main constituents of the town were outdoorsy adventurers who loved to explore the nearby waters of the Pacific Ocean, mainly through the mode of surfing. Most of these people wish that Malibu was the way it was back in the day--clean, quiet and free of paparazzi. I still think Malibu is clean and relatively quiet (especially when compared to nearby Hollywood or downtown L.A., or even to Santa Monica) but I understand what they're saying about the celebrity photographers. A lot of the original Malibuans are best described using the term "granola": they're earthy, free-spirited and environmentally conscious. They don't like their land being dominated by gossip hounds and star-struck visitors and I get that. Malibu is so naturally breathtaking and its natural beauty should be preserved.

Malibu's local beaches are packed with surfers every day. The waves are full of athletes riding their long and short-boards. Some surfers get hostile, though, which I don't really like. They get territorial over their waves and their beaches, as evidenced by the paparazzi abuse instance back in June. Though not a surfer myself, I can understand where their angst comes from, even if I sometimes disagree with how they display their anger. I've been bulldozed by the paparazzi a few times while perusing the Malibu Colony and it's quite annoying. Malibu is a beautiful, sleepy town and the hippie-surfer locals are quick to speak their mind regarding the fact that it should stay that way.

5) The town astrologer.

The person I'm thinking of specifically as I begin to describe the fifth type of Malibu local is Space. He's a homeless man who can always be found at Starbucks. Whether you ask him to or not, he will provide you with your daily horoscope. He is hilarious, sometimes over-bearing and always refreshing. An example of a daily interaction with Space as is follows: Lindsay Jernigan and I were chatting with Space in his usual haunt (Starbucks, of course) when he observed that we had similar light blue eyes. He told Lindsay that though are eyes were alike, he liked hers better than mine. I teased him, asking him how dare he make such a blatant comment in front of my face. He leaned towards me and whispered, "She's new. I have to say that and try to get her. If it doesn't work out, I'll come back to you. " Flattering.

There's a huge community of men and women just like Space who live in Malibu. They are mostly found striking up conversation outside of Malibu Yo in the Malibu Colony Plaza. They are entertaining, ever-present staples of the Malibu community. I don't think the town would be the same without them.

I have a particularly fond memory of Space from this summer. Ashleigh Ferguson and I were frequenting Starbucks on a daily basis and one specific morning, we ran into Space as we were ordering our chai lattes. He summoned us over to where he was sitting, excited to show us a plethora of pastries, bagels and muffins a Starbucks employee had given him earlier that morning. This man, this homeless man who has nothing, asked us to choose some goodies to take home with us. Ashleigh and I quickly refused, claiming we couldn't take his baked goods from him, but thanks for the offer. Space insisted that we have some of the treats, even going as far as shoving muffins and scones into our purses. He forced us to bring a cookie home for "our tall friend," too (meaning Becca). I was blown away by this act of generosity. This man doesn't have anything; yet he wanted to give it all away to girls who have everything. This story is a reason, amongst many others, that I believe the Malibu community wouldn't be the same without astrologers like Space.

So there you have it. A brief synopsis of what Malibu locals are really like. Malibu Magazine did a great photo series in June, capturing images of locals in their everyday life. Truly, the Malibu community is a special one. Come visit and see for yourself
.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Live.


:: TOO ALIVE to just stand still. ::



Friday, October 31, 2008

Perseverance.


:: Pray to God, but keep rowing to shore. ::

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Halloween Hopes.

Normally I really dislike Halloween. I don't really know why. Actually, I do. I think there are a number of reasons. First of all, I never really have liked dressing up for anything: Halloween, theme parties, costume chapter, etc. I can never think of any good ideas and I hate competing with all of the young women out there whose ideas of dressing up include transforming into scandalous animals and insects. Not for me. Also, I'd always envisioned Halloween to be a night of drunken debauchery. Which is still true, I suppose, and, believe me, I enjoy a few cocktails/beers/glasses of wine/what-have-you every now and again, but I have always thought this holiday was created for people to make drunken mistakes, and I'm not super sure I'm okay with that. Drinking in the company of friends is fun and safe but sometimes I think that people use Halloween to legitimize insane behavior. (I'll get off my soapbox now). Lastly, I dislike Halloween because I've grown past the point of being able to go trick-or-treating. I know, I know; it's a free world and technically I could still grovel for candy if I wanted to but that would just be plain weird at the ripe old age of 22. That being said, I'm surprisingly excited for Halloween. I have so many fun plans for tomorrow that I must admit that I really can't wait to celebrate All Hallow's Eve.


In the morning, Maggie Samuel and I will be breakfasting at Sprinkles Cupcakes. It might seem to be a little too early to be indulging in delicious mini-cakes but, really, it's never too early for cupcakes. Maggie and I have a tradition (okay, this will only be the third time) of planning Sprinkles and Starbucks dates and I'm pretty excited to try out the Halloween/fall flavors of tomorrow, including chai latte, pumpkin and caramel apple.


For lunch, my boss Emily is taking me and my coworker, Courtney, to Chipotle for lunch. Originally, the three of us had planned to dress up as burritos in order to earn free ones, as per a deal that Chipotle offers every Halloween. I have participated in this event for the past three years, stopping in at the Calabasas Chipotle with friends including Erin, Karli, Becca, Katie VB, Mammen, Davids Schwartz and Nelson, Brad, Clark and Mike to score free burritos. Sadly, Chipotle doesn't offer this deal at lunch so Ers and I already made plans to eat there for dinner. Despite learning that we would not be the recipients of free food, Emily still offered to treat Courtney and me to lunch there on behalf of Halloween. So, fine, free Chipotle twice in one day is, yes, overindulgent but also delicious-sounding.

Good thing my perfect Halloween only includes eating thus far--shows where my priorities are, I suppose. Assuming I can still walk/waddle after I've consumed all of this fabulous food, I plan on zooming down to Malibu for what should be an epic party at Mikey, Dorian and Andrew's place (affectionately known to most of our friends as T-Land). Tomorrow night will also signify Joel and Rose's last night in California; they're moving to Nicaragua on Saturday, and tomorrow night will be a great way to send them off. All of my favorite people are going to be there and I can't wait to see everyone's costumes, particularly Shea Miller's, which I'm hoping will look my favorite character in the made-for-YouTube-film, Jackie and Debra.





I actually am going to dress up. I'm going to be a Malibu local and I don't mean the scary surf type who steals your table on Taco Tuesday at Duke's; rather, I'll be channeling the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson version of Malibu chic, complete with Uggs, short shorts, too much jewelry, an extremely oversized bag, at least fourteen scarves, possibly a fedora and the ever-present Venti Starbucks cup.


I can't believe I'm admitting this but I really just can't wait for tomorrow. Hopefully Halloween turns out as great as I expect it to.